The Day I Lost My Job

A little history to shed some light on this post:

My husband, Jeremy and I became christians in 1997.  Very soon after, he volunteered us for youth ministry and I blindly followed.  For the next 5 years, we spent most of our time with the youth of our church, laughing, learning, living and sometimes pulling our hair out.  During that time, I thought we were what you would have called "lifers". (a lifetime in youth ministry)  But, low and behold there were other plans in the mix {a post I promise I will get to soon} and Jeremy, myself and a very cherished group of friends felt called to plant a church.

In the beginning, I was urged by my then senior pastor's wife to lead the kid's ministry.  Her words still echo in my head "only you will love this thing as much as your husband."  So, I obliged and tortured myself for maybe 6 months in the kid's ministry until I was rescued by a dear friend.  Over the course of the next few years, my role on church staff was very informal but, I was pretty much in every staff meeting with an often weighty opinion.  

There were a few years in the history of our church which I call the '400-600 phase' that I ducked out and did nothing.  This abysmal phase was when the church attendance grew to a number that this overly personable, I need to know everyone, Nebraska girl had a veritable meltdown.  It was a self-induced guilt over expectations that weren't even there.  So, during this time, I immersed myself in the gym and became a personal trainer.  After hiding for a couple years, I emerged when the church was  growing from 600-800 and realized people didn't really care who I was.  They didn't have an actual expectation to know the pastor's wife.  (these are obviously not factual of everyone's feelings, just my own personal observations and the way I soothe my conscience)

So, I hopped back on the team and filled a position that we couldn't quite figure out the fit for.  Jeremy would it explain it as this:
Sunshine is the liaison to my staff.  She takes things I say and softens it by saying 'what he really meant to say was this'
Essentially, I was the middleman, when needed, to his team.  (AND, you can see where this is going)  I am the pastor's wife!

About six months ago, I hit a brick wall...again.  I would complain (read nag) to Jeremy and threaten to quit.  Things were not good.  We would go back and forth constantly about church decisions and with us both being strong people, sometimes it was just a plain battle of wills.

Three weeks ago a church consultant group was scheduled to come meet with our team and help us figure out a 3 year/5 year plan.  We are somewhat of a "mom and pop"shop so, a PLAN seemed unfathomable.  Honestly, I drug my feet to that meeting.  I was not ready to sit in a room, graph my leadership style on a piece of paper and listen to everything I pretty much thought I knew. (ego, ego, ego...I know)

Day 1:  We were asked to go around the room and introduce ourselves, say what we loved about theMovement and what we hoped would change.  When my turn came, I followed direction one and two and then blurted, 'and, I hope to not have to work here some time in the future'.  The guy leading the meeting said 'Great!  Sunshine phased out by January 1' and went and wrote it on the board.  Immediately, this little thing (that didn't have a name yet) flip-flopped in my belly.  And, as I glanced around the room, I caught a few confused faces that followed with obligatory smiles.  I was thinking....oh, crap.

Later that night, Jeremy asked what I thought.  I did a little sidestep saying 'well, tomorrow will be interesting.  And, I can't imagine at least not going to staff meetings.'

Day 2:  By hour number two, I had been phased out completely.  I honestly can't remember how it happened that quickly.  I sat there, seriously stunned.  It felt like a punch to the gut.  The wind literally sucked out of my sails.  That little unnamed thing in my belly called Pride suddenly reared it's ugly head and sent a laundry list of thoughts through my head.  The resounding theme was:  BUT, I AM GOOD AT WHAT I DO!!  .....right??   If I would have had to speak at that moment, I would have cried.  I had gotten what I asked for but now, was it what I wanted?

The drive home was interesting.  Jeremy kept glancing at me saying 'so, what do you think?'  I could only say, 'I know its right but, it just feels weird.'  And then, a phrase I had heard over the past couple of days sprang to my mind:  I know you CAN do it but, SHOULD you?  What is for the greater good?

I am going to be ultimately cheesy here and say...I suddenly felt so FREE!  In that quick instant while we were driving home, I had a duh moment.

Since that day, I have not given even one thought to the 'workings' of the church.  I had no idea we added another church service until I picked up and announcement sheet this last Sunday.  I am now my husbands wife and not his co-worker.  My new joke is that getting fired from my church was the best thing ever!

I Don't Enjoy Cooking

As I attempt to jump back into blogging, I figured I could start with a post that you will most likely see only once from me:  a recipe!  I am pretty convinced I don't belong in the kitchen with laborious recipes.  I get overwhelmed when there are more than 4 ingredients and multiple steps.  You wonder how my family survives?  I LOVE grilling and I can make a great salad and simple side dishes.  I even asked for a grill for mother's day one year.  I own the grill in this family.  In fact, I tried to let Jeremy grill the other day and honestly experienced a little anxiety.  But, my control issues are another blog post entirely so, back to the kitchen!

So, a dear friend gave me some vegetables from her garden which included an enormous zucchini.  The first thing I said to her was "What do I do with this thing?" She said, "You cook it".  Ha ha...yes.  But, how?  Two other kind friends were already googling recipes and giving me tips about baked zucchini and asked me to take pictures of the finished product.  As I got in the car with my daughter, I said to her "Well shoot, now I'm going to have to do something with this thing".  Culinary pressure at it's finest.  So, I googled a few recipes and most were all vegetarian and required cheese and bread.  Well, I have to have protein with my meal and I like cheese and bread with wine.  So, I {drumroll please} combined different recipes I read and made up my own!  Yeah, I still get excited thinking about it.

Everything went pretty smoothly except that I broke a plate, grabbed the hot baking dish with my bare hand and stepped on my chihuahua twice.  She's a scrounge and I drop a lot of stuff.  We work well together but, sometimes she misjudges my swift movements.  As exciting as it was to try the finished product and have my skeptical husband say, "I actually like this", I think that experience will hold me over for a month or two.  I'd rather throw meat on the grill and sit down and watch some football.

Sunshine's Zucchini:

Zucchini
Organic ground beef
Italian season
Garlic powder
Red onion
Spaghetti sauce
Basil
Salt
Pepper

Preheat oven to 350
Slice zucchini lengthwise and scrape out insides and set aside
Bake zucchini for 20 minutes face down
Meanwhile brown ground beef and add italian season, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste
Mash insides of zucchini in a mixing bowl (yeah, I thought this was weird because of the seeds but, one recipe called for it and I justified it with retaining all the nutrients of the vegetable)
Sauté onion and add to mixture (I also salt and peppered a bit here and added a dash of italian seasoning)
Finley chop basil and add to mixture
Add one cup spaghetti sauce to mixture

Since I had more meat than I did space in the boats, I made side batches of mixture and ground beef for each individual boat.  I will use the leftovers for pasta and some meat sauce for my son tonight.

Fill the boats and return to oven for 20 minutes.  You could top with mozzarella before returning to oven which would probably be delicious.  But, I am selective in my cheese consumption.  Cheese=calories in my brain and if I'm going to enjoy it, I want to splurge when the time is right.  i.e. pizza or straight up on a cracker.

Enjoy!  (I hope)

Bad Mom Award or When NOT to be Cheap

Noah busted his lip in last Friday night's football game. Since he is not a complainer, he didn't really mention how painful it was until Monday. As I watched him struggle to eat, I thought about a really intensive dentist appointment he was going to be having on Thursday. (today) So, I called the dentist and asked if we should reschedule and they said that it wouldn't be necessary and that the dentist would do his best near that bottom lip. He also suggested I buy Neosporin and Vaseline to keep it clean and moisturized.

Well, I followed doctors orders but, while I was in CVS I looked at an $8.79 Orabase gel. As I read the back and tried to determine its necessity, I decided I would just stick with the dentist's recommendations. After all, I have always succumbed to buying $9ish pointless products that end up in drawers or cabinets.

As today, the day of the dreaded dental procedure, dawned; Noah's lip had still not healed and was causing him quite a bit of pain. {warning: the rest of this paragraph may bother you if you are not a fan of dental work or anything cringe-worthy} Today's procedure was to fit Noah for crowns on his 2 front teeth. But, since his front teeth have endured so much trauma the nerves override the numbing agents the dentist uses. Although he was administered two different types of local anesthetic, he could feel every bit of the procedure. As he squeezed my hand, moaned and tried to control his body from jumping, I silently cried. Thank God Noah was wearing glasses and staring at the ceiling because I was clearly not the one who SHOULD have been crying. Later, he did say that he almost cried 8 times and looked me solemnly in the parking lot and said 'I almost threw in the towel.' My heart did a little hitch right then because I watched the grinding, heard the drill and saw the blood. I said to him, 'I wouldn't have blamed you. I cried.'

When we got home, he slept for quite a while and then awoke very hungry. Of course, the swollen gums and residual sensitivity of the teeth were an issue but, his lip had been banged up pretty good and was swollen again. So, he had a shake. Then, he hunkered down to do his homework. I probably asked him 50 times what I could make him to eat and he just said that he could barely open his mouth because of his lip. At this point, I am desperate for this kids dilemma so I tell him I am going to CVS to buy this gel. He adds 'Can you buy me new smoothie mixes in case it doesn't work?'

I go to CVS and buy the $8.79 gel which is $9.47 with tax. (you see where this is going and why I really do deserve the bad mom award) THEN, I go to Vons and spend $47.55 on smoothie mixes, juices, applesauce, Naked juice thingy's and oatmeal. When I get home, I show him my array of goods and then say 'Oh let's try this gel!'

5 minutes later, he comes into the kitchen smiling and laughing for the first time today and said sarcastically: 'Mom, you're blowing it....I can't feel my lip. Good thing we didn't get this before this morning.'

Oh goodness...at least we are laughing.

'I Just Want Ordinary'

I just got off the phone with my mother and I finally heard a smile in her voice and she was laughing! The past two weeks have just been a roller coaster of emotions. My first phone call to her two weeks ago was 'Oh no. We aren't going to get any of the flood water' followed by my dads booming voice in the background reassuring me that there was no way that river would ever get close to them. (although their house sits about 50 yards from the water)

Two days after that first phone call she called me trying her best to use her big girl voice but quickly began sobbing, 'Oh no Sunny. The river is coming here. Your dad had me come home from work and we are moving everything out today.' And so began the day to day drama of encroaching water, ominous river pictures, wild rumors and theories about what was really going to unfold.

Now two weeks later, she is living in a gutted house with river water at the sandbag wall but, no water in the house. The basement is a shell; the carpet is removed, the toilets have been removed, drains are capped, doors are off their hinges, pumps are waiting for water, chlorine is positioned and as of yesterday, 4 feet of sheetrock has been removed from the lower half of the wall (more on her reaction to this in a minute). But still, no water.

Here is a bit of what the conversation went like with my observations in parenthesis:

Me: Whatcha doing?

Mom: I'm on the deck. Watching the river. {giggle} Just watching the river roll by. (she adds for emphasis)

Me: So, no water in the house?

Mom: No, it actually dropped a bit. (she says excitedly) But, they released today so we will see that in 36 hours and they will release again tomorrow.

Me: Well, that is good news.

Mom: Yeah, we will see. The river runs so peaceful right in front of us because we have this little inlet. It is not just raging by like you would think.

Me: I know you would be happy and so thankful but, what if you don't get water and you did all that work? I think I'd be a little irritated.

Mom: {she laughs} I know! Sometimes I think that is what is going to happen next.

Me: Like a really bad episode of 'Punked' (she laughs and probably has no idea what I am talking about since she doesn't even know how to turn her television on by herself)

Mom: Yeah, your dad and Bill (the neighbor) cut 4 feet of sheetrock out of the basement walls yesterday. I just stood there and thought, 'isn't that a little overboard.' But, I didn't say nothing. I just let them work. It's their way to deal with it. Just finding work to do.

Me: Well, make sure dad is taking it easy.

Mom: Oh yeah. He had a couple of rough days. It was just so hot here. And, he would get up and work from dawn till dusk acting like he is 40. And, he ain't 40 anymore.

Me: True

Mom: But, he brought back my microwave today! I was just so excited. And, I went shopping at Ashley's house today because she isn't eating up all my food like she is supposed to (Ashley is my sister and that is where my mom moved some of her stuff. And, my mother ALWAYS HAS FOOD. And, lots of it. Sometimes you can't even see into the refrigerator)

At this point I am just laughing with her and she is just getting so animated and then she really starts 'Barb-ing' out. Which is when she gets a bit goofy and excited about little things.

Mom: And guess what? Your dad said if we don't get any water by Friday, he is going to bring back my washer and dryer! He said 'you know, I really think you would feel better if you just had your washer and dryer, Barb'. I got kind of teary. I would just love to throw my rugs in and wipe up my floor. You would be so proud of me. My house is kind of messy. (I can totally hear her beaming at this point and I am smiling from ear to ear. It is such a blessing to hear a little hope in her voice)

Mom: You know me, I just want ordinary. I just want to lolly-gag around and be ordinary. I'm back at work and that is so good for me. I like to focus on other people and realize how good my life really is. (she works in CAT scan and sees a lot of trauma)

Me: It's so good to hear you smile.

Mom: I know. You know I am going to be okay. There were some days where I was tempted to call the doctor and get a little something for my stress. Sometimes I just couldn't talk myself off the wire. But, I didn't. I just kept thinking 'this too shall pass'. And, I may still get water but, I am ready for it now. This has all just turned kind of normal.

Me: Well good. I am so excited to come back soon.

Mom: Me too! (5 days ago she was plotting with my sister to talk me out of coming) We may just buy blow-up mattresses and stay here! It's kinda fun. It's like we are camping. We have lawn chairs everywhere. No furniture. And, I use the lids that go on my storage tubs for food trays. And, we eat anywhere we like now! I don't even care about the carpet anymore.

Me: {laughing} You've come a long way in a couple weeks. Well, I am so excited to come back.

Mom: Yes. I have some good wine coming from when we were in Napa valley. We can just sit on the deck and watch the river. Maybe your dad will bring back my grill by then!

Me: Yay! That sounds fun. Love you mom.

Mom: Love you too. Tell Gracie I didn't forget about her big graduation day. We will do something special when you get here.

Me: Oh she knows you love her. Talk to you soon.

Mom: Bye honey. I love you.

Me: Love you too!

Here is a link to some surreal arial photos. Still praying the water stays away! But, thankful for the small victory of hearing a glimmer of hope and taking a moment to catch our breath and laugh.

http://www.nylen.com/flood/20110610/

A Poop Story

Jeremy will celebrate his 40th birthday this year. With this impending milestone, he was feeling the urge to have a complete physical. So, as dutiful wife, I scheduled physicals for both of us. I was due for one anyway and figured we could knock this out in one fell swoop.

A week prior to our physical we fasted before our trip to the lab for blood work. It is absolutely hilarious how much more hungry you feel when you know you CAN'T eat. I feel petty even admitting this now due to current events and the actual suffering that people endure but, I figured I would confess. After our blood was drawn, we met in the lobby and headed to the elevator. As we were walking to the elevator, I glanced down at a small package in Jeremy's hand and asked him what it was.

Jer: Didn't you get one of these?

Me: No. What is it?

{we enter the elevator with two women}

Jer: I don't know, I guess they want my poop.

Me: Jer! Shhh {laughing}

At this point I was opening the package and inspecting the directions when the little vial that you collect your sample thingy (un-used of course) falls to the ground. Jeremy, clearly on a roll at this point, says sarcastically and jokingly:

'Pick that up!' He is obviously pretending to be bossy and totally kidding around and I am seriously laughing so hard, all I can manage is another 'Jer!'

We arrive at parking level and as we exit, one woman leads the way going in our direction. When we hit the parking lot, she turns to us and says, 'You guys look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?'

I shoot a quick glance to Jeremy who is a slight shade of red then turn back to her and in my ultra-sunshiney voice say 'Hi, I'm Sunshine.' I totally know how she knows us but, I am hoping to duck out of this one. She introduces herself and adds, 'Oh, I go to your church!'

Me: Oh awesome! This is my husband Jeremy. Remind me of your name again. (because I have totally forgotten it in this short amount of time due to my total embarrassment)

Her: (name) It is so nice to meet you. I'll see you Sunday.

Me: Great! See you Sunday.

I turn to Jeremy and we both just look at each other and quick step it to our car giggling. We are going to blame that on on low blood sugar.

A Simple Thought

I am an internet junkie. Often, I think I am over-informed. I am sure many would agree. We have up to the minute news on pretty much anything we would like information on. And, if anything random crosses your mind...there is always Google.

Obviously, there is no need to Google the disaster in Japan. It is all over the news and in the forefront of many of our minds. Headlines read somewhat like: 'Magnitude 8.9 Earthquake in Japan' , 'Death Toll Rises, Thousands Still Missing', 'Tsunami Swallows up City', 'Survivors Hold out Hope', 'Bodies Wash Ashore', 'Nuclear Reactors Melting Down.' So, so, so saddening.

I would not ever attempt to minimize the travesty or the grief or the overwhelming helpless feeling of sadness. My thoughts and prayers are honestly there...albiet a bit detached and somehow not totally connecting sometimes. I see the images of people weeping, homes lost and bodies being carried away and I cannot really imagine the totality of the situation.

And, I hear: 'Oh, you just wait...California is next.' Or, see flooding in other parts of our country. In the news I see buses overturning on US soil while people run amok and kill each other.

So, here is my simple thought; I looked at Jeremy tonight and honestly said this: All of this chaos would normally scare me. But, I know it is inevitable. This world is dying. If the radiation comes here or an earthquake happens...one thing I know: my God has prepared a place for me. There are many rooms. If it were not so, he would have told us. Therefore, take comfort in knowing....there is more than what we see. And, God WILL bring beauty from ashes.

A Random Recollection

It's been four months since I last blogged. Not saying this is a big return. Chances are, I will space it, or over-think it or forget it all over again. And, I really have no BIG idea for this post. Just a checking-in of sorts.

In the past 4 months:

1) Became a mother of a high-schooler: Absolutely freaks me out since I so clearly still remember BEING in high school. But, I refuse to parent out of fear and so we are chugging right along. Hiccups of course.

2) Officially have 2 teens: Another freakish but, fun event. Being 21 with my first kid, far away from my mommy with a partially paralyzed face feels like a lifetime ago. It definitely makes for some good memories.

3) Decorated a tree, in shifts, with just my daughter: VERY bittersweet but, not nearly as sad as it sounds. We still retained the 'oh remember this ornament?' fun after Grace and I did the hard work.

4) I look UP to my son: maybe for a little while longer than the past 4 months but, I have to stand on my tip-toes to see eye to eye. The oddity of this hits me at strange times. Like when he is sick and I am dragging him in to see the doctor. I am 5 steps ahead with a "man" following me complaining of his pain but, insisting we 'really shouldn't be here' & 'can we go home?' & 'can we get some food on the way home?'

5) Celebrated my 18th New Years with Jeremy: Our kids kept us up in the air about their plans so, we ended up by ourselves with no real plans around 9:00. So, an impromptu night at home...Wii bowling, music and dancing. Yes, we danced. By ourselves. In our living room. Same time, same place next year...right babe?

6) Marked our 9 year anniversary as a church: (January 6, 2002) This is humbling, amazing and merciful, There are not many words for it. It is all God. And for that, I am truly thankful.

7) Enjoyed a couple family trips: Grace competed in Vegas for San Marcos Pop Warner cheer. Her last year :( The team rocked & my girl has some killer kicks. Also, we managed to get away to Mammoth. So fun, so EASY and so bittersweet. Fun because it's MAMMOTH. Easy because they have this down after 11 years of boarding for Noah and 9 for the goose. Bittersweet because they ride without us!

Are we there yet? Ahhh...not so much. Life just keeps rolling along...by God's grace.

A Reason to Call Home

My son went to homecoming Saturday night. As we were scrambling rather last minute for something to wear the morning of the dance, it became apparent that I may have to iron. This may sound like simple event but, I have VERY limited ironing experience. My mother paid my grandma to do our family ironing. With 4 kids in private school, her being a nurse and my dad in uniform walking mail, this was a wise use of her money. My dad was probably the most pressed and professional looking mailman in South Sioux City, Nebraska.

Needless to say, the prospect of ironing was a bit of a dilemma so I did what every 21st century woman would do and I lamented on Facebook. The response was great. I had friends offer to iron the shirt for me, a link to a how-to website and a couple step by step instructions. As I laughed about my inability to iron, I decided it would be a good time to call my grandma. Sadly, I don't talk to her nearly enough and after speaking with her recently on her birthday, I made a mental note to call her more often.

Here is a roughly edited version of the phone call:

Grandma: Hello?

Me: Hi grandma, it's Sunshine.

G: Sunner? Oh hello!

M: Hi grandma. I was just thinking about you today and I thought I would call you.

G: Well Sunner, you know your old grandma here thinks about you all the time.

M: Haha. Thanks grandma. Guess what? I have to iron a shirt for Noah today and I don't know how to iron and it's all your fault!

G: (laughs) Ha! Well, you know I always did love to do your ironing. That Barb (my mom) doesn't let me do it anymore.

M: Yeah, well I should have taken a little time to learn because now I'm stuck.

G: Well, I'll teach you next time you are home. You know, that Conrad (her husband) was military and everything had to be pressed right with the 3points on the back. (She then went into a very elaborate description of the military press)

M: Wow! Sounds difficult.

G: No, no. I'll teach ya. Next time you come home. When are you coming home?

M: Soon grandma. I promise. You know, I was teasing Ashley the other day about noodles. (homemade chicken noodles are my grandma's signature dish) I told Ash that she got mom's noodles on her birthday but, when I come home, I'll get YOUR noodles. Right?

G: Oh Sunner, I will always make noodles for you!

M: Haha. Yeah, I told Ash it was because I'm your favorite.

G: Oh yes, you and Shane (oldest boy grandchild) Well, all you kids are special to me but, you and Shane lived with me so, you were different. It was just different, you know.

And without even prompting she went into the story of the day my mom and I moved out. My mom was a single mom when I was born and we lived with my grandma for about 4 years.

G: Oh you know, that day was hard for me. I was mad at Barb. And, when she came to get your bed, I just cried you know. And when I was vacuuming the carpet where your bed was, I just cried and cried.

M: Awww grandma, and I was just moving across town!

G: I know, I know. I just liked having you living with me, that's all.

M: Your too sweet grandma.

G: Well, I sure do miss you. I miss all my grandkids.

M: Miss you too grandma. I'll be home soon. I promise.

G: Ok Sunner. You take care. I'll teach you how to iron when you get home.

M: Ok. And, can I get a German Chocolate cake too.

G: (laugh) Oh, you know you can get a cake too.

M: Love you grandma.

G: Love you too sweetheart.

And, this just makes me think that I need to find more reasons to call home.

A Morning Run

My husband and I have been going on morning runs together. Although I am thankful for our healthy like-mindedness, I sometimes wonder why I didn't politely decline when he invited me the first time. The way Jeremy and I approach a run is SO totally different. As I trailed him again this morning, I realized that our running styles parallel our life together.

I could run for miles on a flat, even road at a steady pace. Jeremy likes hills and rough terrain. No warm-up. Just hit the pavement and go as fast as you can as quickly as you can. I am usually listening to Jack Johnson Radio while he is yelling back to me over whatever is thumping in his headphones.

In our relationship, family life and church Jeremy is the visionary and the do-er. He has absolutely no reservations taking an ultra-last minute trip somewhere. He is famous for tracking a snowstorm and giving us one hour to be packed and in the car. Since I am more of the planner I would like a little more notice than that. But, I have adapted and can usually see the fire in his eyes or measure his speech and know that there is a possible trip underfoot.

There is an illustration that we commonly use on our church staff about Jeremy and I. He is the ship and I am the rudder. Without the ship we would go nowhere. Without the rudder the ship would be unstable and the passengers may fall off.

My friend teased and called me 'stable Mabel'. She's right, I am way too content just keeping things steady. So, as I literally ate my husbands dust this morning, I had to thank God for his pushing me and keeping us moving ever forward. Relationships are no easy task and it is truly a gift when you find the strengths and weaknesses in your spouse and you help to glorify them rather than fight them.

P.S. I still fantasize about running in circles around the lake at a comfortable pace.

An Interesting Summer

Wow! It has been quite an interesting summer. This calendar season and this season of my life has been quite challenging. I have attempted to write one big blog post upon my return after a wordless summer but, have failed on 3 attempts. So, I am going to settle on short and sweet.

I say wordless summer because that really is what it felt like. Nothing was making much sense for a couple of months as a lot of life got turned upside down. And, you know what it is like when things are upside down. You still look at things from your former right side up perspective which just causes a bit more confusion and frustration.

So, here I am taking a deep breath on the other side of a phase of life and looking back. Isn't it always so interesting how things can be so irritating and miserable when you are amidst them but, when you get through it you look back and think 'gee, I am really glad I went through that,'?
Well, maybe that statement is made with clenched teeth and a bit reluctantly and with a different word other than the chipper 'gee'. But, you probably get my point.

Needless to say, life is always full of lessons and I got quite a "schooling" recently so, it is time to get writing. Feel free to follow my blog, comment or e-mail me anytime...
sunshine@themovement.org

I will be posting again soon!

Another Mouse in the House

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2009

This was the original story last year...they are back

I had a sneaking suspicion there was a mouse in my house. My dogs had been fairly skittish off and on and my daughter had spotted one peeking out from below our deck out back. My fears were confirmed when I found some mouse poop behind the trash can under the sink. Yuck.

I promptly headed to the store for some mousetraps. I purchased some fancy traps that were advertised as "Black Cats". Safe and effective. Safe for whom? And, if my neighbor's cat had been effective in the first place I wouldn't be in this pickle. I was a bit skeptical, so along with the Black Cats, I purchased 2 good old fashioned wooden traps. The kind that make you tense just trying to set them and make you wince as you gently lay them on the ground.

I placed one fancy "Black Cat" trap outside, one behind the trash and the back-up, cheese loaded, old school trap beside it and felt prepared. With the traps in place, I turned down the lights last night and headed to my room to watch a little television.

Less than 20 minutes later, my dogs began going nuts out in the kitchen. I sent Jeremy out to investigate and he quickly summoned me to the kitchen. "I think you caught your mouse." It is funny how he attached ownership of this mouse to me. It is probably because I was so bent on catching it and was taking the invasion very personal. I am totally fine with mice living OUTSIDE where they belong. But, once you invade my home, just know that I will win. However, I had no idea how far off my eventual victory was.

Standing in the kitchen, it was clear that the mouse was caught but, not dead. Squeaks and the clanking sound of the metal from the wooden trap was an early indicator that this mouse was up for a fight. So, I let it fight for a few minutes thinking it would surely end quick. Well, I was wrong. And, with my adrenaline through the roof at this point and the ick factor in full force, Jeremy and I realized we needed to take action.

So, Jeremy headed out to the garage and retrieved a broom and a box. His plan: sweep the mouse into the box and let it die outside and out of earshot. He then hands ME the broom and gives me the go ahead. And, like most normal women I batted and swatted and swept that mouse into the box while myself squealing and hopping and freaking out. It was classic late night drama at its best.

With the mouse in the box and hopefully on the brink of death, we headed out to the trash bin. But, after putting it in the trash and hearing it's flopping around suddenly amplified by the enclosed space; Jeremy decides that it is not only annoying it is also unsafe. After all, this is a super mouse and everyone knows a mouse can flatten itself to the size of a quarter or something like that. So, he takes the boxed mouse out of the trash and out front to die in the driveway. End of story? End of mouse?

As I head to spin at 5:30 am this morning, I peek in the box and the mouse is still. Since I am in a hurry I decide to just throw it away when I get back. Well, I came home with 2 coffees in my hands and a list of things to do before I take the kids to school and head to work so, I assign Jeremy the disposal of the mouse duty. He says he will get to it in a minute. (lots of football re-caps to go over, I am sure)

As I leave for work at 8:20, I hear the mouse flopping around in the box. You have got to be joking me! Incredulous, I run back in the house and tell Jeremy to drown it before I get back home. When I come home an hour later, I peek in the box and yes, the mouse is still there but, now it is not moving. So, even though he hadn't drown it yet, I felt relieved that is was finally dead.

Thirty minutes ago, I stepped outside to let my dogs run around and finally dispose of the vermin. And, believe it or not it was still alive! I just cannot tell you how much I am freaking out at this point. On one hand, I feel kinda bad for the poor thing. On the other hand, what is a girl to do? So, I take the drowning of the mouse into my own hands.

I fill the bucket and turning my head, I dump the mouse into the water and without looking put the box on top. Chewie (my dog) and I stand there for a few moments and I am trying to calm down. Dumping a mouse into a bucket is a bit overwhelming. As we are standing there, Chewie's ears perk up and I seriously hear this mouse start to cry. (well, it was technically squeaking but, at this point I am about to cry so we might as well cry together) At this point I am fairly confident that I am being punked by this mouse.

I carefully lift the box off the bucket and shockingly this doggone, super mouse is using the trap as a flotation device! Oh my Lord! I am thinking this can't last long so, I put the box back on top of the bucket and honestly pray it ends quick.

Wouldn't you know that I not only trapped the sturdiest mouse in the world but, it is also an excellent doggie paddler. It would do a few barrel rolls on the trap and land right side up every time. Stressed out and needing a little help, I called my mom to tell her of the darma. After laughing, she suggested the rock which now sits on the head of the mouse in the bottom of the bucket. Alas, I won.

But, I am not really happy about it. In fact, I do feel kind of bad. But, the reality of the situation is that mice don't belong in the house and in my house we play by the rules. As an addendum for all of you fellow animal lover/PETA people out there, I am sure there were other options. But, at this point I don't really care. If you had a mouse in your house you would probably do the same.

A Footrace

Monday night I was chatting with my husband about my softball game. I play on a coed team so, the men and women alternate batting. I was telling Jeremy how twice that night, I got a single and this guy Mike was up to bat right after me. Quite often, Mike hits home runs and he is usually stepping on the heels of the girl in front of him as they cross home plate. I am a bit competitive so, I made it a personal goal to not allow Mike to get even close to me. His first at bat was a home run and we joked in the dugout because he admitted he was trying to catch me and failed. The second time he batted after me, I made it home and he was left on second. Victory number two.

So as I sat on the couch very excitedly telling my husband this story, Jeremy looks at me and says, "I would beat you to home plate if you started on first and I was in the batters box."

Seriously.

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed. "No way." And then he extended his hand and I shook it.

As we laughed and stared at each other I said, "I feel very peacocky right now. If you could see my feathers they are standing up tall." He chuckled and then added, "I could beat you if I started at the backstop."

I am being completely honest when I say we were half tempted to go to the fields right at that moment and race but, it was 11:30 at night and the kids were in bed. So the bets are on and our friends are choosing sides. One thing is for sure, I used to race the boys on the playground when I was in grade school and I don't go down easily.

A Homeboy

Today was a "family day". The first day of this spring break with no friends, just family. Since the weather is so beautiful and we live in a vacation destination, we decided to head downtown for a little lunch and a walk around Horton Plaza.

After a short walk through downtown, my son emphatically expressed his distaste. Too many transients, too many sirens, too much looking over your shoulder and just plain "sketchy". He could not wait to get back to the car.

As we were walking through the parking garage, I joked to Jeremy about us never having to worry about him running away and living on the streets. Noah responded, "If you can't ever find me, I have been kidnapped. I would never leave home."

I have raised a suburban homeboy.


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A Reputation

Last week, my family ordered some Pei Wei takeout. Grace and I are the fortune cookie gals. We take the selection of them very seriously.

(for all the uber-Christians out there, we don't take the fortune as truth but, we have a lot of fun with it)

Grace and I carefully selected our cookies. After opening hers, she turned to me and said: 'mom, I got yours.'



I guess I have some sort of a reputation. Most people would argue that I probably refuse dessert fairly often.

Seconds later, she said: 'since when did fortunes become suggestions?'. Gosh I love her. She cracks me up.

In case you are concerned about my dietetic limitations, I indulged in some amazing homemade chocolate soufflé Saturday night. AND, I purchased brownies for Grace to bake this week and have taken a nibble or two. Also, I am sure my self serve yogurt obession doesn't really count but, I do frequent FroYo enough times in one week to fulfill my fortune.

Needless to say, there are blessings and curses in all our habits and activity.

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An Invitation

Last week, my son thrust a yellow permission slip before me and rather eagerly invited me to be a chaperone on his field trip. Needless to say, I was quite honored.

Since both he and his sister are in the same school and a grade apart, this was a field trip she would be attending too. He cornered me in the kitchen and essentially called "dibs" on me driving HIS classmates. (ironically though, my daughter and one of her friends ended up in my car)

The field trip to Hotel Del Coronado sounded exciting however; the day of the week the trip was scheduled for did not since I lead a small group in my bible study on Wednesday's. I hesitated for a moment until I looked to my 14 year old son and realized I may be holding a precious and possibly limited invitation. I certainly would hope not, but realistically, I know that my "coolness" may wear off at any moment.

So, one commitment was passed to another while I attended to one if my most valuable commitments and accepted my son's invitation.







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A Test

I am absolutely horrible at frequent blogging. I am pretty sure I over think myself. So, in an attempt to write down my thoughts/observations more often, I pulled the trigger and spent a whopping $2.99 on an App that allows me to blog from my iPhone.

This allows convenience and a caveat. The convenience is that I always have my phone with me. The caveat is that I ALWAYS have my phone with me.

I have quite a few drafts of blog ideas I need to finish up. Those must be done on my actual computer since this thumb typing thing must be kept short.

In the meantime, feel free to post a comment or ask me a question. I was somewhat curious about that formspring thing since I thought I had the "pastor wife" thing going. (as a clarification for some, formspring is a forum where people ask you anything). Anyway, I was promptly informed by my 14 year old that I was much too old for formspring.

Haha. So, as I re-attempt to blog something worthy of attention, comment or ask me anything.


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A Trip Down Memory Lane

In my previous post, I wrote about my memories with my Grandma Delores. Based on the responses to my post, it is quite obvious how loved she is. And, how many funny, quirky and endearing things she has imparted to the ones she loved. Since most of the comments were made on my Facebook link to the blog, I wanted to repost them here. My side comments are contained in these: { }

Ashley Black {my sister}: LOL. Davenport and fingernail polish in the fridge. {yeah, the fridge is where we Nebraskans put out "pop" aka soda} I would also like to add the GIANT mountain in her yard that we would go sledding on. Although now it looks rather small! {I would agree. I had the privilege to take my kids sledding on the hill and it seemed a little less intimidating. But, the hours of fun on that hill are innumerable.}

Bridget Grant {Grandma's daughter and caretaker for many years}: Very nice. I am still crying.

Brie Grant {Daughter of Bridget and granddaughter of Grandma}: Beautifully put Sunny! Made me remember how close we all were. :) I miss grandma.

Cain Grant {Son of Bridget and grandson of Grandma}: Nice thoughts, Sunny. I loved that darn clock too.

Seth Black {my brother}: Are you trying to make me cry? I can still remember the smell of her bed sheets...sometimes you could find one of those cologne samples she would tear out of a magazine and hide under the mattress pad! When you were sick you either got brandy or ice cream...I want my stocking too! {My mom says she is saving it until he "settles down". His argument would probably be that he has been living in Oregon for 3 years.} They didn't call me grandma's little b***h for nothing. {Seth's words, not mine :)} My favorite was that she never answered the phone "hello", it was always "yeah" and I find myself doing that now. And you would never get a goodbye, she would just hang up the phone right away!

Tony Moravek {Ashley's husband}: That was pretty good Sunny. She would have really enjoyed that "kid". {My grandma called everyone kid} Her and Ashley are the same in that you go to give them a hug, and it was like nobody was there to hug back, like you were hugging a body with no return hug...just the way they are I have eventually learned to figure out. She told me that Ashley was sure lucky to meet that "Polish guy cuz he's sure SWELL..." (Apparently I am Polish) My personal favorite was the answering machine, "BLACKS AND GRANTS, LEAVE A MESSAGE!!!" {Cain and Brie lived with grandma during high school and the caps are because she really did yell} I ate a piece of popcorn off the table at BA's {a bar} right before the wedding 5 years ago and she nudged me and said, "Kid, don't be doing that. We don't want you to be getting syphilis before the wedding." I still laugh about that to this day.

Bridget Grant: Thanks to all of you for writing your thoughts about grandma. I have really enjoyed reading them. Yes Tony, she did think you were swell.

A Christmas Wish

While listening to my Sirius XM radio tonight, I had a "moment". It first began with me listening to XM channel 3 which is semi-current, incredibly cheesy Christmas music. I was honestly listening out of obligation since I have been struggling to "stay in the spirit" this year. During a break in the N'Sync, Mariah Carey etc. deluge of goofy remixes, Santa cheerfully interrupted and let me know that the classics were just a touch away on XM channel 4. And so, with a touch of my fingertip, I went THERE. Where? Over to channel 4 and 25 years ago in an instant.

I am thinking that the arrival of 'the stocking' got this "moment" to brew. 'The stocking' is one that is embroidered with Sunshine in red and hung dutifly on my Grandma Delores' mantle alongside the names: Ashley, Seth, Carter, Cain and Brie, each and every Christmas as far back as my memory goes. Ashley, Seth and Carter are my siblings and Cain and Brie are my 2 cousins and together we make the 6 grandkids on the Black side.

So, my "moment" in the car was triggered by a classic Christmas song, coupled with the arrival of my old stocking. And, in that moment, tears sprang to my eyes. Tears of joy and tears of sadness. Something I can't quite put my finger on but, I will try.

Today, my stocking is hanging on my mantle here in Southern California. It is many, many miles from Nebraska now. But, I can still see it above my Grandma D's fireplace even now as I type. Tradition held that we had Christmas Eve at her house. It was always so exciting since we got to open presents "early". My parents were steadfast in opening our presents on Christmas morning. As you can imagine, us kids were giddy with anticipation. There were always many gifts under my grandma's tree and, "Santa" arrived on schedule each year. Oh yes, a real, live santa. Of course, it was quite some time before I realized it was our friend Tom Sherlock who posed as Santa. But, as the oldest of all, I felt very privileged being in on the "secret" and took my job at playing up the ruse very seriously.

So tonight, my mind was flooded with Chistmas memories that brought me much joy but, there is a little sorrow mixed in. I have the stocking my grandma gave me because she is no longer in her home with the fireplace. She lives rather comfortably in an assisted living home due to alzheimer's. The stocking was a gift from my mom and dad as they sift through the physical memories my grandmother kept since her memories are quickly fading.

My wish is this:
I really, really wish she knows how truly important she was is my life. I am confident she knows I loved her but, I really wish I had told her a few things. So God, can you please let her know:

I loved that she let me sleep with her when I spent the night. And, the clock that shone on the ceiling was the best thing to stare up at while you fell asleep.

I loved that you could literally run in circles in her house since she let everything go and the was an actual circular path that led through her house.

I loved that an entire wall in her entry way was a shrine to those she loved. There were pictures of everyone on prominent display.

I loved that she called a sofa a davenport and when you were sick; to the davenport you went.

I loved the oversized dictionary in the hallway. I always looked up a new word when I was there.

I loved that there was a candy dish. And, you never had to ask.

I loved that grandpa's chair sat in exactly the same spot even years after he was not with us.

I loved that she kept her fingernail polish in the refrigerator. I am still not sure if there is any logic to it.

I loved that she loved the color green. 'It is the color of money, kid.' (she called everyone kid)

And, I loved that she always gave me $2 bills for all the "off" holidays like Valentine's day and Saint Patrick's day.

I would love to wrap this story up nice and tight and put a big, red, happy bow on it. Truth is, I cried while I typed it and thankfully it has no ending. I will keep the memories alive as long as I can. Hopefully I too, will pass the torch of tradition and family to my kids and grankids. My tears are not necessarily sad tears, they are the happy-sad ones. So, I will put a green bow on this "moment"...just for you Grandma D.

A Lunch Date

Jeremy and I had lunch with a great couple today. The husband is a professional golfer and just got his card to play on the PGA tour this year. Needless to say, Jeremy and I were both very inquisitive. Being athletes and competitors at heart, we were very interested in seeing what their life was like.

As you can imagine, it is a career that many men, and women I am sure, would covet. He travels the country and gets paid....to golf. :) The great thing is, he and his wife are very humble in their blessing. It took us asking many questions to eek out the "glory" of the sport. Endorsements and hob-nobbing with some of the greats while traveling with your young family in an RV was the extent of the attention they wanted to draw to themselves.

As I sat and listened with a grin spreading ear to ear, thinking of the freedom and adventure that comes with said profession, the question was posed by them, 'how do you do what you do?' This question had come on the heels of an offhand comment the wife had made about things she wished she would have known going into the sport.

And, I sat there incredulous and thought...'how do we do what we do?' The short, contrite, and canned but true answer is: by the grace of God.

Now, if you read this and know the old me and/or despise the church or are indifferent, navigate away from this page. I will not be offended. Heck, I will never know. :)

But, I will tell you the truth. I never, in my 35 years, thought that I would be a pastor's wife hanging out in a church in southern California...and liking it. Scratch that...loving it but only, by the grace of God.

Some days, I want to be a golfer or a professional tennis player. Or, a talk show host or an author. And that is because some days are downright hard. When you see people hurting or see death and sorrow and things you can't explain, you want to get out of the "God business". I want to run away and throw my hands up and fess up to the fact that I really don't have any answers, most of the time. I would like to rely on my swing or my skills and hop in an RV. But, that is for them, and this is for me.

None are greater. But, I sat at lunch today and in a split moment of time God made me truly content to be who I am and where I am at. My prayer is that for you, if you have read this far: you would be content in your spot, in your job, in this season; exactly where God has positioned you to be.

A Change of Plans

14 years ago, I was in college with lots of "plans". I was in my third year of school and working toward my major. The goal was to be a teacher and my minor was Spanish thinking it would be a great idea to be able to teach English as a second language. I had a lofty idea that I would study abroad in Spain my junior summer.

Well, all the plans changed. About a week before spring break I found out I was pregnant. Apparently all of the bargains I had made with God the week prior had fell on deaf ears and I was experiencing the consequences of my actions.

As my world "fell apart" in that moment, my biggest concern was disappointing my mom. She had me when she was 18 and the warnings of the struggle of being a young mother always hung in the back of my mind. At the same time, the wrath of my father, who was the primary source of the monetary portion of my education, coupled with the shaky relationship of my now husband, Jeremy resulted in the most confusing and tumultuous time of my life.

I finished out the school year (with excellent grades, I might add) and Jeremy and I made the decision to move to Kansas City. He had an opportunity to open the first Gateway Country Store there and I thought it would be a good idea to separate myself as far from my old life as possible. The months that followed were extremely difficult. We were young and I was bitter. Jeremy worked long hours and I had a full time job at Payless Shoes. I was always so exhausted, I would take naps in the men's size 12 shoe aisle, sitting on the floor with my head on one of those foot rest thingy's. I was SO not looking forward to having a baby or being a mother.

On October 31st, I was induced into labor due to Bells palsy, (a whole other blog post) and gave birth to an 8lb.10oz. baby boy. It was definitely a game changer.

Yesterday, my baby boy Noah Blue McGinty, celebrated his 14th birthday. It has been 14 years of joy, pain, growing and learning. Now, as I walk beside my now 150lb. 5'9" child, I know that my life didn't really fall apart, it fell together. I truly thank God that my plans did change.