A Reputation

Last week, my family ordered some Pei Wei takeout. Grace and I are the fortune cookie gals. We take the selection of them very seriously.

(for all the uber-Christians out there, we don't take the fortune as truth but, we have a lot of fun with it)

Grace and I carefully selected our cookies. After opening hers, she turned to me and said: 'mom, I got yours.'



I guess I have some sort of a reputation. Most people would argue that I probably refuse dessert fairly often.

Seconds later, she said: 'since when did fortunes become suggestions?'. Gosh I love her. She cracks me up.

In case you are concerned about my dietetic limitations, I indulged in some amazing homemade chocolate soufflé Saturday night. AND, I purchased brownies for Grace to bake this week and have taken a nibble or two. Also, I am sure my self serve yogurt obession doesn't really count but, I do frequent FroYo enough times in one week to fulfill my fortune.

Needless to say, there are blessings and curses in all our habits and activity.

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An Invitation

Last week, my son thrust a yellow permission slip before me and rather eagerly invited me to be a chaperone on his field trip. Needless to say, I was quite honored.

Since both he and his sister are in the same school and a grade apart, this was a field trip she would be attending too. He cornered me in the kitchen and essentially called "dibs" on me driving HIS classmates. (ironically though, my daughter and one of her friends ended up in my car)

The field trip to Hotel Del Coronado sounded exciting however; the day of the week the trip was scheduled for did not since I lead a small group in my bible study on Wednesday's. I hesitated for a moment until I looked to my 14 year old son and realized I may be holding a precious and possibly limited invitation. I certainly would hope not, but realistically, I know that my "coolness" may wear off at any moment.

So, one commitment was passed to another while I attended to one if my most valuable commitments and accepted my son's invitation.







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A Test

I am absolutely horrible at frequent blogging. I am pretty sure I over think myself. So, in an attempt to write down my thoughts/observations more often, I pulled the trigger and spent a whopping $2.99 on an App that allows me to blog from my iPhone.

This allows convenience and a caveat. The convenience is that I always have my phone with me. The caveat is that I ALWAYS have my phone with me.

I have quite a few drafts of blog ideas I need to finish up. Those must be done on my actual computer since this thumb typing thing must be kept short.

In the meantime, feel free to post a comment or ask me a question. I was somewhat curious about that formspring thing since I thought I had the "pastor wife" thing going. (as a clarification for some, formspring is a forum where people ask you anything). Anyway, I was promptly informed by my 14 year old that I was much too old for formspring.

Haha. So, as I re-attempt to blog something worthy of attention, comment or ask me anything.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Trip Down Memory Lane

In my previous post, I wrote about my memories with my Grandma Delores. Based on the responses to my post, it is quite obvious how loved she is. And, how many funny, quirky and endearing things she has imparted to the ones she loved. Since most of the comments were made on my Facebook link to the blog, I wanted to repost them here. My side comments are contained in these: { }

Ashley Black {my sister}: LOL. Davenport and fingernail polish in the fridge. {yeah, the fridge is where we Nebraskans put out "pop" aka soda} I would also like to add the GIANT mountain in her yard that we would go sledding on. Although now it looks rather small! {I would agree. I had the privilege to take my kids sledding on the hill and it seemed a little less intimidating. But, the hours of fun on that hill are innumerable.}

Bridget Grant {Grandma's daughter and caretaker for many years}: Very nice. I am still crying.

Brie Grant {Daughter of Bridget and granddaughter of Grandma}: Beautifully put Sunny! Made me remember how close we all were. :) I miss grandma.

Cain Grant {Son of Bridget and grandson of Grandma}: Nice thoughts, Sunny. I loved that darn clock too.

Seth Black {my brother}: Are you trying to make me cry? I can still remember the smell of her bed sheets...sometimes you could find one of those cologne samples she would tear out of a magazine and hide under the mattress pad! When you were sick you either got brandy or ice cream...I want my stocking too! {My mom says she is saving it until he "settles down". His argument would probably be that he has been living in Oregon for 3 years.} They didn't call me grandma's little b***h for nothing. {Seth's words, not mine :)} My favorite was that she never answered the phone "hello", it was always "yeah" and I find myself doing that now. And you would never get a goodbye, she would just hang up the phone right away!

Tony Moravek {Ashley's husband}: That was pretty good Sunny. She would have really enjoyed that "kid". {My grandma called everyone kid} Her and Ashley are the same in that you go to give them a hug, and it was like nobody was there to hug back, like you were hugging a body with no return hug...just the way they are I have eventually learned to figure out. She told me that Ashley was sure lucky to meet that "Polish guy cuz he's sure SWELL..." (Apparently I am Polish) My personal favorite was the answering machine, "BLACKS AND GRANTS, LEAVE A MESSAGE!!!" {Cain and Brie lived with grandma during high school and the caps are because she really did yell} I ate a piece of popcorn off the table at BA's {a bar} right before the wedding 5 years ago and she nudged me and said, "Kid, don't be doing that. We don't want you to be getting syphilis before the wedding." I still laugh about that to this day.

Bridget Grant: Thanks to all of you for writing your thoughts about grandma. I have really enjoyed reading them. Yes Tony, she did think you were swell.

A Christmas Wish

While listening to my Sirius XM radio tonight, I had a "moment". It first began with me listening to XM channel 3 which is semi-current, incredibly cheesy Christmas music. I was honestly listening out of obligation since I have been struggling to "stay in the spirit" this year. During a break in the N'Sync, Mariah Carey etc. deluge of goofy remixes, Santa cheerfully interrupted and let me know that the classics were just a touch away on XM channel 4. And so, with a touch of my fingertip, I went THERE. Where? Over to channel 4 and 25 years ago in an instant.

I am thinking that the arrival of 'the stocking' got this "moment" to brew. 'The stocking' is one that is embroidered with Sunshine in red and hung dutifly on my Grandma Delores' mantle alongside the names: Ashley, Seth, Carter, Cain and Brie, each and every Christmas as far back as my memory goes. Ashley, Seth and Carter are my siblings and Cain and Brie are my 2 cousins and together we make the 6 grandkids on the Black side.

So, my "moment" in the car was triggered by a classic Christmas song, coupled with the arrival of my old stocking. And, in that moment, tears sprang to my eyes. Tears of joy and tears of sadness. Something I can't quite put my finger on but, I will try.

Today, my stocking is hanging on my mantle here in Southern California. It is many, many miles from Nebraska now. But, I can still see it above my Grandma D's fireplace even now as I type. Tradition held that we had Christmas Eve at her house. It was always so exciting since we got to open presents "early". My parents were steadfast in opening our presents on Christmas morning. As you can imagine, us kids were giddy with anticipation. There were always many gifts under my grandma's tree and, "Santa" arrived on schedule each year. Oh yes, a real, live santa. Of course, it was quite some time before I realized it was our friend Tom Sherlock who posed as Santa. But, as the oldest of all, I felt very privileged being in on the "secret" and took my job at playing up the ruse very seriously.

So tonight, my mind was flooded with Chistmas memories that brought me much joy but, there is a little sorrow mixed in. I have the stocking my grandma gave me because she is no longer in her home with the fireplace. She lives rather comfortably in an assisted living home due to alzheimer's. The stocking was a gift from my mom and dad as they sift through the physical memories my grandmother kept since her memories are quickly fading.

My wish is this:
I really, really wish she knows how truly important she was is my life. I am confident she knows I loved her but, I really wish I had told her a few things. So God, can you please let her know:

I loved that she let me sleep with her when I spent the night. And, the clock that shone on the ceiling was the best thing to stare up at while you fell asleep.

I loved that you could literally run in circles in her house since she let everything go and the was an actual circular path that led through her house.

I loved that an entire wall in her entry way was a shrine to those she loved. There were pictures of everyone on prominent display.

I loved that she called a sofa a davenport and when you were sick; to the davenport you went.

I loved the oversized dictionary in the hallway. I always looked up a new word when I was there.

I loved that there was a candy dish. And, you never had to ask.

I loved that grandpa's chair sat in exactly the same spot even years after he was not with us.

I loved that she kept her fingernail polish in the refrigerator. I am still not sure if there is any logic to it.

I loved that she loved the color green. 'It is the color of money, kid.' (she called everyone kid)

And, I loved that she always gave me $2 bills for all the "off" holidays like Valentine's day and Saint Patrick's day.

I would love to wrap this story up nice and tight and put a big, red, happy bow on it. Truth is, I cried while I typed it and thankfully it has no ending. I will keep the memories alive as long as I can. Hopefully I too, will pass the torch of tradition and family to my kids and grankids. My tears are not necessarily sad tears, they are the happy-sad ones. So, I will put a green bow on this "moment"...just for you Grandma D.

A Lunch Date

Jeremy and I had lunch with a great couple today. The husband is a professional golfer and just got his card to play on the PGA tour this year. Needless to say, Jeremy and I were both very inquisitive. Being athletes and competitors at heart, we were very interested in seeing what their life was like.

As you can imagine, it is a career that many men, and women I am sure, would covet. He travels the country and gets paid....to golf. :) The great thing is, he and his wife are very humble in their blessing. It took us asking many questions to eek out the "glory" of the sport. Endorsements and hob-nobbing with some of the greats while traveling with your young family in an RV was the extent of the attention they wanted to draw to themselves.

As I sat and listened with a grin spreading ear to ear, thinking of the freedom and adventure that comes with said profession, the question was posed by them, 'how do you do what you do?' This question had come on the heels of an offhand comment the wife had made about things she wished she would have known going into the sport.

And, I sat there incredulous and thought...'how do we do what we do?' The short, contrite, and canned but true answer is: by the grace of God.

Now, if you read this and know the old me and/or despise the church or are indifferent, navigate away from this page. I will not be offended. Heck, I will never know. :)

But, I will tell you the truth. I never, in my 35 years, thought that I would be a pastor's wife hanging out in a church in southern California...and liking it. Scratch that...loving it but only, by the grace of God.

Some days, I want to be a golfer or a professional tennis player. Or, a talk show host or an author. And that is because some days are downright hard. When you see people hurting or see death and sorrow and things you can't explain, you want to get out of the "God business". I want to run away and throw my hands up and fess up to the fact that I really don't have any answers, most of the time. I would like to rely on my swing or my skills and hop in an RV. But, that is for them, and this is for me.

None are greater. But, I sat at lunch today and in a split moment of time God made me truly content to be who I am and where I am at. My prayer is that for you, if you have read this far: you would be content in your spot, in your job, in this season; exactly where God has positioned you to be.

A Change of Plans

14 years ago, I was in college with lots of "plans". I was in my third year of school and working toward my major. The goal was to be a teacher and my minor was Spanish thinking it would be a great idea to be able to teach English as a second language. I had a lofty idea that I would study abroad in Spain my junior summer.

Well, all the plans changed. About a week before spring break I found out I was pregnant. Apparently all of the bargains I had made with God the week prior had fell on deaf ears and I was experiencing the consequences of my actions.

As my world "fell apart" in that moment, my biggest concern was disappointing my mom. She had me when she was 18 and the warnings of the struggle of being a young mother always hung in the back of my mind. At the same time, the wrath of my father, who was the primary source of the monetary portion of my education, coupled with the shaky relationship of my now husband, Jeremy resulted in the most confusing and tumultuous time of my life.

I finished out the school year (with excellent grades, I might add) and Jeremy and I made the decision to move to Kansas City. He had an opportunity to open the first Gateway Country Store there and I thought it would be a good idea to separate myself as far from my old life as possible. The months that followed were extremely difficult. We were young and I was bitter. Jeremy worked long hours and I had a full time job at Payless Shoes. I was always so exhausted, I would take naps in the men's size 12 shoe aisle, sitting on the floor with my head on one of those foot rest thingy's. I was SO not looking forward to having a baby or being a mother.

On October 31st, I was induced into labor due to Bells palsy, (a whole other blog post) and gave birth to an 8lb.10oz. baby boy. It was definitely a game changer.

Yesterday, my baby boy Noah Blue McGinty, celebrated his 14th birthday. It has been 14 years of joy, pain, growing and learning. Now, as I walk beside my now 150lb. 5'9" child, I know that my life didn't really fall apart, it fell together. I truly thank God that my plans did change.