A Poop Story

Jeremy will celebrate his 40th birthday this year. With this impending milestone, he was feeling the urge to have a complete physical. So, as dutiful wife, I scheduled physicals for both of us. I was due for one anyway and figured we could knock this out in one fell swoop.

A week prior to our physical we fasted before our trip to the lab for blood work. It is absolutely hilarious how much more hungry you feel when you know you CAN'T eat. I feel petty even admitting this now due to current events and the actual suffering that people endure but, I figured I would confess. After our blood was drawn, we met in the lobby and headed to the elevator. As we were walking to the elevator, I glanced down at a small package in Jeremy's hand and asked him what it was.

Jer: Didn't you get one of these?

Me: No. What is it?

{we enter the elevator with two women}

Jer: I don't know, I guess they want my poop.

Me: Jer! Shhh {laughing}

At this point I was opening the package and inspecting the directions when the little vial that you collect your sample thingy (un-used of course) falls to the ground. Jeremy, clearly on a roll at this point, says sarcastically and jokingly:

'Pick that up!' He is obviously pretending to be bossy and totally kidding around and I am seriously laughing so hard, all I can manage is another 'Jer!'

We arrive at parking level and as we exit, one woman leads the way going in our direction. When we hit the parking lot, she turns to us and says, 'You guys look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?'

I shoot a quick glance to Jeremy who is a slight shade of red then turn back to her and in my ultra-sunshiney voice say 'Hi, I'm Sunshine.' I totally know how she knows us but, I am hoping to duck out of this one. She introduces herself and adds, 'Oh, I go to your church!'

Me: Oh awesome! This is my husband Jeremy. Remind me of your name again. (because I have totally forgotten it in this short amount of time due to my total embarrassment)

Her: (name) It is so nice to meet you. I'll see you Sunday.

Me: Great! See you Sunday.

I turn to Jeremy and we both just look at each other and quick step it to our car giggling. We are going to blame that on on low blood sugar.